Thursday, August 04, 2005

Im Awake

The black water streamed over the skin. The legs grow from out of the pooling cool water, while the hairs pattern themselves into connecting roots. Slowly cleaned by the evening shower, a warm downpour of water. Hearing the beats of falling water droplets long before I felt them. Finally, I am conscious again.

I have been trapped under the soil for some time now, knowing not how to emerge from it. The wind had swept over me for years, covering me in layer upon layer of debris, hiding all understanding that I had. Compacted under its own weight, pulling densely together, and slowly bearing down and pulling closer to the day of my birth. I was always looking to organize the future, but now found myself vacated by the understanding of the present, and now I began to organize the past. For the past is all I truly know. The present all that I can truly miss. The future all that can I hope for.

So upon entering my new life, there was not even space to lift my eyelids, but I knew I was still alive, and understood that I had survived here for a reason. The first few weeks were insane; a war full of fury and disbelief. I questioned what I once knew to be fact and frightened myself with the possibility of never returning to six feet underground. The panic increased, until I felt the change, the collapse of the war, and the beginning of the harmony. My blood warmed to fill my bones. A sense of self, unrecalled, intense, and unbelievable. The hardened earth all around me began to break apart, and although I could not move, I understood that I was moving.

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